I'd like to share some memories of Bess. Bess told me of her early life, she was an only child, the daughter of 2 doctors who were originally from the Lower East Side. She heard Yiddish at home, and her mother called her by her Yiddish name, Bashy. She told me of learning at a private school in Montclair in grade school, followed by the public high school there. (I'm not sure when her parents moved to West Orange, perhaps when she was in college or after.) It was while in college in Rochester that she was first exposed to Orthodox Judaism, thanks to the tremendous Hachnasas Orchim of the Rochester Orthodox Jewish Community, and the friendships she made there, and it had a tremendous effect on her. She also did other things in college like being a performance artist and lead singer at public concerts, backed by a band, and she learned to create and sell certain wind instruments. I think she mentioned studying at Neve Yerushalayim, and developing close friendships with people who considered themselves part of the Shlomo Carlebach chevrah. When she came back to the U.S. she eventually was teaching art, developing pioneer curriculłum in that area, at Yeshivas in Northern N.J., at least one Conservative and one Orthodox. She joyfully recalled those years when she was living in Teaneck and being recognized and stopped by her students and their families when they saw her shopping in local stores. She joyfully recalled memorable interactions with students like the one who confided in her she didn't like kissing mezuzahs on doorposts but who changed her mind after she spoke with Bess (unfortunately, this feeble mind does not recall the details of the conversation). There was also wonderful conversation she had with a student about saying Shma and again this feeble mind no longer remembers the details of the conversation.
#4Memories of a special friend —
Sheba Mittelman2020-12-20 09:18
I had been privileged to know Bess Abel for several years as a dear friend and neighbor. When I remember Bess, there are three special traits of hers that come to mind immediately:
Passion: Bess was a visual artist and teacher by profession. Her talents extended to other arts as well- writing, singing. But her passion for sharing her talents, her passion for life, learning and teaching, was exceptional. She taught people of all ages and brought her love of our amazing world and its beauty into many lives, enriching so many in the process.
Bess was also an excellent organizer and consummate professional in accomplishing any task she took on. Several years before our Aliya, I worked closely with Bess on a major community volunteer project. It was a pleasure being part of her team, since she brought all her passion as well as her skills to making sure that the project was the best it could be.
Love of Learning and Yiddishkeit: Bess’s passion for Jewish learning knew no bounds. Her passion for coming close to Hashem was evident in every act she did. I learned from her how to say a Bracha with true Kavanah. I think she truly lived the life of a Chassid- always singing Hashem’s praises and looking for the joy in Torah and Jewish life, even during periods of tremendous difficulty.
Compassion: I never met a more kind, caring and compassionate person than Bess. Many people knew of her completely selfless dedication to caring for her parents during their long illnesses .The strength and compassion that she demonstrated during that period, her commitment, loyalty and devotion, have left a lasting impression on all of us who came to know and admire Bess.
May her memory always be a blessing. I will miss her.
Though I had moved away years earlier, Bess and I would read the same books and discuss them, and also send each other our poems and stories. She was incredibly generous with her time and very perceptive in her comments. We also discussed Jewish topics, music, human nature... it was a rich friendship in many ways. When we both lived in Teaneck, we would build a sukkah together. One year I was very late in pregnancy and we couldn't quite do it ourselves; some lovely neighbors helped us. That year I gave birth on the 2nd day of Sukkot and by the last day I was sitting in the sukkah with Bess and the new baby.
#1Remembering Bess —
Sam and Annie2020-12-09 12:00
Bess would come to our Seder and for Rosh Hashanah. She would always have a Dvar Torah, a story and a Niggun to share. And each week as we walked home from Shul on Shabbos, Bess would be on her porch and offer cold water to refresh us. We will miss her. Annie & Sam
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Bess Abel's
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Bess Abel, Art Teacher at Paramus High School, from 1988 yearbook.
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Comments
It was while in college in Rochester that she was first exposed to Orthodox Judaism, thanks to the tremendous Hachnasas Orchim of the Rochester Orthodox Jewish Community, and the friendships she made there, and it had a tremendous effect on her.
She also did other things in college like being a performance artist and lead singer at public concerts, backed by a band, and she learned to create and sell certain wind instruments. I think she mentioned studying at Neve Yerushalayim, and developing close friendships with people who considered themselves part of the Shlomo Carlebach chevrah.
When she came back to the U.S. she eventually was teaching art, developing pioneer curriculłum in that area, at Yeshivas in Northern N.J., at least one Conservative and one Orthodox. She joyfully recalled those years when she was living in Teaneck and being recognized and stopped by her students and their families when they saw her shopping in local stores. She joyfully recalled memorable interactions with students like the one who confided in her she didn't like kissing mezuzahs on doorposts but who changed her mind after she spoke with Bess (unfortunately, this feeble mind does not recall the details of the conversation). There was also wonderful conversation she had with a student about saying Shma and again this feeble mind no longer remembers the details of the conversation.
Passion: Bess was a visual artist and teacher by profession. Her talents extended to other arts as well- writing, singing. But her passion for sharing her talents, her passion for life, learning and teaching, was exceptional. She taught people of all ages and brought her love of our amazing world and its beauty into many lives, enriching so many in the process.
Bess was also an excellent organizer and consummate professional in accomplishing any task she took on. Several years before our Aliya, I worked closely with Bess on a major community volunteer project. It was a pleasure being part of her team, since she brought all her passion as well as her skills to making sure that the project was the best it could be.
Love of Learning and Yiddishkeit: Bess’s passion for Jewish learning knew no bounds. Her passion for coming close to Hashem was evident in every act she did. I learned from her how to say a Bracha with true Kavanah. I think she truly lived the life of a Chassid- always singing Hashem’s praises and looking for the joy in Torah and Jewish life, even during periods of tremendous difficulty.
Compassion: I never met a more kind, caring and compassionate person than Bess. Many people knew of her completely selfless dedication to caring for her parents during their long illnesses .The strength and compassion that she demonstrated during that period, her commitment, loyalty and devotion, have left a lasting impression on all of us who came to know and admire Bess.
May her memory always be a blessing. I will miss her.
Sheba Mittelman
several e-mail exchanges with Bess Abel.
What amazed me was that she started
every single of her messages with B"H.
I am getting emails from many orthodox
people, and I don't know anybody else who does that.
During Chol Hamoed Sukkot I was waiting
and not getting a response from her to an e-mail
I had sent before Yom Tov.
After Simcha Torah she told me that she did not want
to write during Chol Hamoed. I was truly amazed by this
great devotion to Torah and Mitzvot.
When we both lived in Teaneck, we would build a sukkah together. One year I was very late in pregnancy and we couldn't quite do it ourselves; some lovely neighbors helped us. That year I gave birth on the 2nd day of Sukkot and by the last day I was sitting in the sukkah with Bess and the new baby.
Annie & Sam